Campus Wishlist

Feel free to chip in below.

For starters, here’s my list:

  • Free plane rides with the flight students.
  • Abolish official use of Facebook, Twitter, Etc for university communications.
  • Bring back the “Spirit Log”
  • A Switch, PS5, and Xbox One X in every residence hall lounge, or at least the Popular Culture Library. (Each one is actually a shell with a raspberry pi 4 inside running supertuxkart)
  • Bring back the DDR machine and Arcade to the Student Union.
  • Move everything not meant to be used directly by students out of the student union.
  • Make Hayes Hall great again and bring back the interior courtyard.
    Failing that, at least bring the datacenter back.
  • Bring back the personal use Apache server.
  • Enable autoupdates for the wordpress server, or at least keep up to date with the security patches.
  • Require all Parmesan cheese sold on campus to come from Parma, Italy, with an equivalent “Grating Cheese” option for domestic cheese, and an equivalent “Counterfeit cheese” option for cellulose chips. label any other cheese “Mystery substance” Truth in labeling.
  • Do not ban plastic bags specifically, just ban single use plastic containers throughout campus. Provide us with cardboard coke-a-cola bottles.
  • Invite a big tech company to build a regional campus on the former golf course, just to see if Mazey was right.
  • Make the bus go to other parts of BG for a day at least once a month.
  • Make the bus go to my house.
  • Install Gentoo on all lab computers.
  • Create a centralized 3D printing and makerspace center on campus, or offer free bus rides to the mall for their makerspace.
  • Replace the bus with a subway system.
  • Replace the bus with the weird fake train thing they bring in at the start of the semester.
  • A Manga Library in the Library.
  • Battlebots team
  • Let SICSIC rampage for like a day with police escort to stop anyone from stopping them.
  • Bring back the electric vehicle institute and the propane “Hank Hill is Proud” hybrid bus.
  • SuperTuxKart is an official eSport.
    Pay a CS student to mod supertuxkart to allow for a “Battle Royale Mode” with at least 100 racers.
  • Allow “First come first serve” public use of golf carts on campus.
  • Replace Coca-Cola with GNU cola.
  • Bring back the dining hall Wiis
  • Ban proprietary textbooks from campus.
  • Divert all Adobe subscription money to funding GIMP, Kirta, Inkscape, Blender, etc.
  • Just as Rodney Rogers is provided a house free of charge, I should also be provided the same gratis.
  • Bike sheds on campus so you can park bikes more safely and out of the rain or snow.
  • Have a big concert with some cool act or something.
  • Invite RMS to campus.
  • Replace the Greek Village with an actual village from Greece so I can get some cool Greek food on campus.
    All my requests are 110% completely serious 99% of the time.
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Seconded. Also, allow for classes in the bouncy houses. I know Rodney is hoarding them all for himself.

Can we also finally get rid of the graffiti on Jerome? Here’s what I’m thinking for an alternative design (note: my professional artist used a complex neural network blockchain lossless algorithm to estimate what campus would look like in 2027)

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How come the statue of Rodney Rogers doesn’t have him wearing a mask?

How will people know he wore a mask from 2020-2022?

We’ve given the doohickey comboborator five million more hours of training data, and it’s given us a more detailed look at how Jerome might look in 2027. Historians, take note.

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The future is changing in real time!

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  • Require all Parmesan cheese sold on campus to come from Parma, Italy, with an equivalent “Grating Cheese” option for domestic cheese, and an equivalent “Counterfeit cheese” option for cellulose chips. label any other cheese “Mystery substance” Truth in labeling.

Finally, a man who gets it.

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